


Pizza Squad

by orphan_account



Category: All Time Low, Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: F/M, Group chat, M/M, alex gets majorly embarrassed, all fluff, i still havent decided if riassadee are dating from the start or not but oh well, ill introduce more characters later, its all on kik as well cause i know how kik works, its all platonic at the beginning, pete kind of gets pregnant with satan jr, text fic, this probably sounds super cringey doesnt it idec i enjoy writing it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-26
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-05-23 10:11:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6113272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pete Wentzaway has created a new group</p><p>Pete Wentzaway has added 16 people to the group</p><p>Pete Wentzaway has renamed the group Pizza Squad</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In which the squad is formed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PureCacophony](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PureCacophony/gifts).



> hi baylee thanks for writing this before me even tho i thought of the idea first i hate u
> 
> and stop asking for screenshots of certain convos u know ur not gonna get them fuck u
> 
> based off many conversations ive had with friends over kik

_pm- Patrick Tree and Pete Wentzaway_

**Pete:** hey ur coming to the party 2night right

**Patrick:** dude of course i am why wouldnt i

**Pete:** cool what pizza do u like

**Patrick:** not pineapple ones

**Pete:** we’re getting Hawaiian fuck u

**Patrick:** noooo

**Pete:** jk we’ll get like margarita or smth

**Patrick:** doesnt margarita have pineapple

**Patrick:** idk whatever

**Pete:** Patrick i

**Pete:** i just

**Pete:** do u know anything about pizza at all

**Pete:** im honestly ashamed

**Patrick:** its just fuckin pizza why does it matter

**Pete:** WHY DOES IT MATTER

**Pete:** IM FINDING A NEW FRIEND

**Pete:** WHO APPRECIATES PIZZA AS MUCH AS ME

**Pete:** hey btw do u know who else is coming

**Patrick:** don’t leave me please

**Patrick:** and idk I think alex and jack are def coming, tyler, brendon, ryan and josh should be coming and im pretty sure zack, rian, cass, andy, joe and spencer are coming too

**Patrick:** jon cant come

**Patrick:** and sarah’s visiting jenna in Australia atm

**Patrick:** there might be a few others coming too I don’t remember, a few of the girls

**Pete:** cool im adding them all to a chat

**Patrick:** what pete no don’t do that

**Pete:** im doing it fuck u

**Patrick:** you wish you could

**Pete:** fuck off

 

* * *

 

 

_Pete Wentzaway has created a new group_

_Pete Wentzaway has added Patrick tree, lexyyy, jack is gay, tyjo, josh dun, rytown, breadbin and 9 others to the chat_

_Pete Wentzaway has renamed the chat PIZZA SQUAD_

**Patrick:** pete wtf

**Lexyyy:** r u srs

**Lexyyy:** r u fuckin srs m8

**Pete:** so ur all comin 2 the party right?

**Lexyyy:** no

**Lexyyy:** jk I am

**Lexyyy:** but why did u have to make a chat

**Pete:** cause why not

**Lexyyy:** do u wanna fuckin fite m8

**Jen-nah:** guys wtf its like 5am here

**Jen-nah:** u woke me up

**Jen-nah:** sarah’s still asleep honestly how does she do it

**Jen-nah:** wE’RE NOT EVEN GOING TO THE PARTY WHY DID YOU ADD US

**Pete:** cause why not

**Jen-nah:** fuck off

_Jen-nah is amazing has left the chat_

_Jen-nah is amazing has joined the chat, invited by Pete Wentzaway_

**Pete:** nu uh

**Pete:** theres no escape

**Jen-nah:** fuck you

**Jen-nah:** at least make me admin

**Pete:** … fine

_Jen-nah is amazing has been promoted to admin by Pete Wentzaway_

**Breadbin:** oh hey guys

**Ryro:** why am I here

**Ryro:** pete why did u make this chat I hate

**Pete:** stfu ryan or I’ll burn ur scarves

**Ryro:** u wouldn’t dare

**Pete:** yes I would

**Pete:** anyway ur here cause ur all coming to the party

**Jen-nah:** im not

**Jen-nah:** sarah’s not

**Pete:** yeah but if u were in the blessed country of freedom and shitty gun laws instead of the land of everythings-gonna-kill-ya you’d be coming

**Jen-nah:** no I wouldn’t

**Jen-nah:** well

**Jen-nah:** maybe

**Jen-nah:** also don’t talk shit about my country we’re amazing fuck off

**Jen-nah:** except Sydney

**Jen-nah:** Sydney sucks its way worse than Melbourne

**Jen-nah:** anyway im gonna try get more sleep bye


	2. In which Pete finds a dog and doesn't check for rabies

**Lexyyy:** woah why does jenna get to be admin but not me

 **Patrick:** I second that

 **Pete:** cause if I make you guys admins everyone’s gonna wanna be an admin

 **Pete:** and did u seriously only just see that she was an admin that was like half an hour ago

 **Lexyyy:** I was busy stfu now make me admin I promise we’ll be the only other ones

 **Patrick:** what alex said

 **Pete:** ugh fine

_Patrick Tree has been promoted to an admin of this group by Pete Wentzaway_

_Lexyyy has been promoted to an admin of this group by Pete Wentzaway_

**Lexyyy:** yay thanks

_Jack is gay has been promoted to an admin of this group by Lexyyy_

**Pete:** yOU SAID YOUD BE THE ONLY OTHER ONES

 **Lexyyy:** yeah well hitler promised not to invade czechoslovakia but he did anyway

 **Pete:** … it took u like 5 minutes to type that

 **Lexyyy:** I had to google Czechoslovakia

 **Lexyyy:** cuz I had no idea how to spell it

 **Lexyyy:** so fuck u

 **Pete:** love u too

 **Pete:** oh and if u make one more person admin im excluding u from the pizza party

 **Patrick:** does this mean I can promote someone to admin too

 **Pete:** what no don’t do that

_Breadbin has been promoted to an admin of this group by Patrick Tree_

_Ryro has been promoted to an admin of this group by Patrick Tree_

**Pete:** THAT WAS 2 PEOPLE

 **Patrick:** oops lmao

 **Brendon:** ayyy thanks Patrick

 **Lexyyy:** have u been here this entire time

 **Lexyyy:** just stalking us

 **Brendon:** maybe

 **Lexyyy:** creep

 **Jack:** wtf guys ive been out all day with rian what happened why am I here

 **Jack:** oh yay im an admin thanks lex

_Jack is gay has changed the group picture_

**Jack:** thats better

 **Rian:** shit

 **Rian:** alex why’d u make jack admin and not me im hurt

 **Lexyyy:** no im not making u admin I still wanna go to the pizza party

 **Lexyyy:** maybe when its over

 **Pete:** nO

 **Rian:** yeS

 **Lexyyy:** what time is it anyway

 **Lexyyy:**  I forgot

 **Pete:** its in three hours

 

* * *

 

 

 **Pete:** SHIT GUYS WE CANT DO THE PARTY SOMETHING CAME UP

 **Pete:** WE FOUND A DOG ON THE STREET AND WE NEED TO TAKE HIM TO THE VET

 **Ryro:** does that mean I can leave this chat hell yeah

_Ryro has left the chat_

**Pete:** no don’t-

 **Pete:** ah fuck

_Ryro has joined the chat, invited by Pete Wentzaway_

**Pete:** don’t

 **Pete:** leave

 **Ryro:** ugh fine

 **Lexyyy:** PETE WTF JACK AND I WERE LITERALLY ABOUT TO LEAVE THE HOUSE WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO NOW

 **Lexyyy:** my mum was expecting us to leave and now we cant

 **Jack:** Pete im honestly so disappointed

 **Patrick:** pETE WHAT IF THE DOG HAS RABIES

 **Pete:** shit I didn’t think of that

 **Jen-nah:** see here in Australia we don’t have rabies at all

 **Sarah:** theres also like no stray dogs

 **Sarah:** this country is so much better than America I think im gonna stay here

 **Pete:** the dog hasn’t bitten any of us so alls good

 **Pete:** the pizza party has to be another time tho

 **Andy:** wow pete great job im pretty sure like 4 people have already left for your place

 **Pete:** … oops


	3. In which Jack says he would screw Alex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my friends and i played this game only a few days ago and it was super fun
> 
> also some of the questions here are ones that we had, try and guess which ones they are

_PIZZA SQUAD_

**Breadbin:** so guys...

 **Breadbin:** since we cant do the party

 **Breadbin:** we should play a game

 **Patrick:** what game

 **Breadbin:** Paranoia

 **Patrick:** never heard of it

 **Lexyyy:** neither

 **Breadbin:** okay here's how it works

 **Breadbin:** we figure out an order to go in, and then the first person asks the second a question (eg I ask alex a question and usually it's about someone in the chat/nsfw) privately, and the person who got asked has to say their answer out loud to the entire group. then u flip a coin, heads means u have to say what the question was, tails means u don't say what the question was. and then the person who was just asked a question has to ask the next person a question

 **Jack:** ooh yeah ive heard of that game lets do it

 **Breadbin:** good good now who wants to play

 **Patrick:** I'll do it

 **Lexyyy:** ooh mee 

 **Pete:** ill play

 **Ryro:** I'll play

 **Jen-nah:** I'm properly awake now I'll play

 **Sarah:** same

 **Rian:** I'll play

 **Tyjo:** I'll do it

 **Josh:** I'll play

 **Cass:** ooh I'll play

 **Zack:** I'll do it

 **Breadbin:** cool is that everyone gonna play?

 **Pete:** probably yeah

 **Breadbin:** neat ok here's the order:

 **Breadbin:** me, rian, patrick, zack, ryan, cass, sarah, jack, josh, jenna, tyler, alex and pete

 **Breadbin:** are we ready im gonna ask rian first

 **Breadbin:** ive got a coin to flip

 **Rian:** I'm not ready but okay

 

* * *

 

 

_pm: Rian Dawson and Breadbin_

**Breadbin:** who in the chat would u lick Nutella off of

 **Rian:** shit man

 

* * *

 

_PIZZA SQUAD_

**Breadbin:** so rian what's ur answer

 **Rian:** uh

 **Rian:** Cass

 **Cass:** what oh no

 **Breadbin:** I'm flipping the coin

 **Cass:** please be heads

 **Tyjo:** I call heads

 **Breadbin:** tails 

 **Rian:** oh thank fuck

 **Rian:** so I ask Patrick now right

 **Breadbin:** yeah

 **Rian:** cool

 **Rian:** Patrick you ready

 **Patrick:** no

 

* * *

 

_pm: Patrick Tree and Rian Dawson_

**Rian:** who in the game would you perform all three unforgivable curses on

 **Patrick:** oh this is easy

 

* * *

 

_PIZZA SQUAD_

**Patrick:** Pete

 **Pete:** is that good or bad

 **Patrick:** ;)

 **Lexyyy:** Brendon do the flippy thing

 **Breadbin:** heads

 **Cass:** oooh

 **Jack:** what was the question

 **Patrick:** who in the game would you perform all three unforgivable curses on

 **Pete:** what

 **Tyjo:** oooh get rekt

 **Zack:** ha suck it Pete 

 **Patrick:** okay zack u ready

 

* * *

 

_pm: Patrick Tree and Zack AMerricka_

**Patrick:** would you shove a pencil up your dick for a stress free life

 **Zack:** what the fucK

 

* * *

 

_PIZZA SQUAD_

**Josh:** why is it taking so long

 **Jen-nah:** hurry up zack

 **Zack:** shhh this is a difficult question

 **Sarah:** hurry upppp

 **Zack:** yes

 **Zack:** is my answer

 **Zack:** yes

 **Tyjo:** flippY

 **Lexyyy:** do the flip

 **Breadbin:** heads

 **Zack:** shit

 **Jack:** k zack what was the q

 **Zack:** would you shove a pencil up your dick for a stress free life

 **Cass:** wtF

 **Pete:** paTRICK

 **Patrick:** I'm crying

 **Zack:** listen,, I would do anything for a stress free life

 **Zack:** anyway I need to ask Ryan now don't I

 **Ryro:** or you could pretend like I don't exist and ask Cass

 

* * *

 

_pm: Ryro and Zack AMerricka_

**Zack:** who in the game has the worst haircut

 **Ryro:** dude that's easy

 

* * *

 

_PIZZA SQUAD_

**Ryro:** Jack

 **Jack:** shit

 **Lexyyy:** flippy timeee

 **Breadbin:** tails

 **Jack:** damnit

 **Lexyyy:** damn

 **Ryro:** alright Cass time for the question

 

* * *

 

_pm: Ryro and Cass is the Pope_

**Ryro:** in order, list the top three people you would fuck in order to gain whichever superpower you want

 **Cass:** oh damn this is hard

 

* * *

 

_PIZZA SQUAD_

**Lexyyy:** damn this is taking a while what did u ask her

 **Ryro:** a difficult question

 **Cass:** ummm okay so

 **Cass:** 1\. Rian, 2. Zack and 3. Pete idk

 **Rian:** is it good or bad that I'm number 1

 **Ryro:** depends on ur opinion of it 

 **Jen-nah:** flip time

 **Breadbin:** tails

 **Cass:** oh thank god

 **Sarah:** awh come onn

 **Tyjo:** I stg the next one better be heads

 **Josh:** this is making me anxious I hate not knowing the questions jfc

 

* * *

 

_pm: Cass is the Pope and Sarah loves youuuu_

**Cass:** list the members of the game in order from the most to least annoying

 **Sarah:** damn

 

* * *

 

_PIZZA SQUAD_

**Jen-nah:** Sarah's been typing for a while what is this

 **Tyjo:** goddamnit Cass what'd u ask her

 **Cass:** u'll find out maybe

 **Sarah:** Jenna, Brendon, Jack, Pete, Ryan, Cass, Tyler, Josh, Rian, Alex, Zack, Patrick

 **Sarah:** this is in order

 **Cass:** ooh damn time to flip

 **Lexyyy:** this is all of us what

 **Breadbin:** heads

 **Sarah:** shit guys please don't hate me for this

 **Sarah:** list the members of the game in order from most to least annoying

 **Jen-nah:** whAT WHY AM I THE MOST

 **Patrick:** awh thanks Sarah

 **Lexyyy:** third last woooo that means I'm only slightly irritating

 **Jack:** tHIRD

 **Jack:** WHY

 **Sarah:** remember when we were camping and you filled my sleeping bag with whipped cream

 **Jack:** oh yeahhhhh

 **Jack:** that was hilarious 

 **Jack:** but alex helped me with that

 **Lexyyy:** no I didn’t

 **Sarah:** and Brendon's second bc of the time he followed me around constantly for a week

 **Sarah:** and Jenna keeps juMPING OUT FROM CORNERS AND SCARING ME

 **Sarah:** so Jack are you ready

 **Jack:** not really no

 

* * *

 

_pm: Sarah loves youuu and Jack is gay_

**Sarah:** you have to have extremely violent, kinky sex involving guitar strings and Nutella with someone in the game. who is it?

 **Jack:** oh my god

 **Jack:** i

 **Jack:** hOW DARE YOU

 

* * *

 

_PIZZA SQUAD_

**Sarah:** so Jack what's ur answer

 **Jack:** um

 **Jack:** lex

 **Lexyyy:** oh shittt

 **Lexyyy:** now I gotta know do the flippy thing

 **Breadbin** : heads

 **Jack:** fuck why

 **Tyjo:** so what was the question

 **Jack:** you have to have extremely violent, kinky sex involving guitar strings and Nutella with someone in the game. who is it?

 **Lexyyy:** i

 **Josh:** what

 **Jack:** listen

 **Jack:** I know Alex the best

 **Jack:** and he's the kinkiest

 **Jack:** it makes sense

 **Lexyyy:** that's true

 **Ryro:** I thought that was me or Brendon

 **Jack:** okay fine he's one of the kinkiest 

 **Rian:** Sarah i don't even wanna know how u thought of that question

 **Sarah:** ;)

 **Sarah:** Jack ur turn to ask josh

 **Josh:** shit I'm scared now

 

* * *

 

_pm: Jack is gay and Josh dun_

**Jack:** if u were in the human centipede who would you want attached to ur ass and who's ass would you want to be attached to

 **Josh:** what the fuCk man

 

* * *

 

_PIZZA SQUAD_

**Josh:** can myself be both answers

 **Jack:** no

 **Josh:** damnit

 **Josh:** okay then 1. Tyler and 2. uh Jenna

 **Lexyyy:** okayy flippy time

 **Breadbin:** heads

 **Josh:** I feel like this is rigged

 **Jack:** what was the question

 **Josh:** if u were in the human centipede who would you want attached to ur ass and who's ass would you want to be attached to

 **Josh:** I have good reasoning behind Tyler's

 **Josh:** Tyler would be attached to my ass so he can eaT my shit

 **Tyjo:** wow

 **Tyjo:** r00d

 **Jen-nah:** shit guys im really sorry I have to go

 **Jen-nah:** day trip with sarah and a few other guys

 **Pete:** oh my god jenna how could you

 **Lexyyy:** tbh guys it is 1am and im getting tired

 **Lexyyy:** I think im gonna sleep we can pick it back up in the morning

 **Breadbin:** is this just an excuse for u guys to get out of having a question or are you legit falling asleep

 **Lexyyy:** brendon my eyes hurt when I keep them open I need to sleep im going to sleep goodnighttt

 **Breadbin:** smh

 **Breadbin:** well game’s off guys ill see u tomorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey fun fact the question sarah asked jack is the exact same question i asked my friend and she had the same reaction as jack as well. also tyler's reasoning for josh being behind him in a human centipede was the same as the reasoning for me being behind another of my friends... fuck u baylee  
> (theres about 2 other questions that my friends asked/ i asked so feel free to guess which ones were in the game i played and which ones i made up)


	4. In which Alex makes a grave mistake and Sarah almost dies (kind of)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a lot shorter than the last chapter sorry bout that

_PIZZA SQUAD_

_1:32pm_

**Rian:** Cass and I are out eating sushi are you jealous yet

 **Jack:** im eating ass

 **Rian:** jack please

 **Lexyyy:** u are what u eat

 **Jack:** ;)

 **Jack:** I don’t remember eating fucking perfection

 **Lexyyy:** well then u haven’t eaten me yet

 **Lexyyy:** wait

 **Lexyyy:** no

 **Cass:** kinky

 **Cass:** RIAN JUST SPAT OUT HIS WATER

 **Lexyyy:** I didn’t mean it like that

 **Jack:** 2 late

 **Lexyyy:** pls no

 **Jack:** omw to eat u

 **Jack:** inside out

 **Lexyyy:** noooo im sorry

 **Lexyyy:** pls stop

 **Cass:** im dead

 **Cass:** rian is wheezing

 **Cass:** im scared we’re gonna get kicked out of the restaurant

 **Lexyyy:** im never showing my face again

 **Lexyyy:** never

 **Lexyyy:** ever

 **Jack:** awwww lex ur blushing now aren’t u

 **Cass:** omg is ur face bright red

 **Lexyyy:** fuck

 **Lexyyy:** off

 

* * *

 

 

_3:12pm_

**Ryro:** whaT the FUCK

 **Ryro:** I guess im not the kinkiest

 **Jack:** no u still are don’t worry

 

* * *

 

 

_4:20pm_

**Breadbin:** blaze it

 **Spencer:** says the guy who’s never seen weed in his life

 **Breadbin:** the oNE TIME you come on this chat and its to BULLY ME?

 **Breadbin:** I wont stand for this

 **Breadbin:** im not admin someone kick Spencer out

 **Jack:** nah

 **Pete:** haha get rekt brendon

 **Breadbin:** whY ARE YOU ALL AGAINST ME

 **Breadbin:** I HATE U ALL

 **Spencer:** luv u too :3

 

* * *

 

 

_5:48pm_

**Sarah:** ITS NEARLY 10PM AND I WENT TO GO TO THE BATHROOM AND THERES A FUCKING SPIDER ON THE CEILING RIGHT ABOVE THE TOILET

 **Sarah:** JENNA IS LAUGHING AT ME FUCK OFF JENNA

 **Jen-nah:** calm down it’s a huntsman its not gonna hurt u

 **Sarah:** LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK AUSTRALIA

 **Sarah:** NOT GONNA HURT ME????? R U SERIOUS?????

 **Sarah:** IM GONNA FUCKIN DIE

 **Patrick:** rip

 **Sarah:** JENNA JUST WALKED INTO THE BATHROOM STILL LAUGHING

 **Sarah:** SHE WALKED OUT HOLDING THE SPIDER WHAT THE FUKC

 **Pete:** omfg

 **Jen-nah:** the spiders gone

 **Sarah:** nope nope nope im never going in there again ill just hold it in

 **Patrick:** good luck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks baylee (purecacophony) for giving me the inspiration for Alex's humiliation  
> pls comment i live for comments


	5. In which Ryan risks losing his scarves and Pete is pregnant with Satan Jr.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey once again credit to my friend baylee for owning way too many fucking scarves  
> and credit to my other friend Kenny for being the one pregnant with a mini satan  
> sorry it's such a short chapter, i wanted to get it up quickly

_9:21am_

**Ryro:** hey guys wanna hear a joke

 **Pete:** ok

 **Breadbin:** not really

 **Ryro:** Australians don’t have sex… they mate

 **Breadbin:** i

 **Ryro:** wait I have more

 **Ryro:** What did the egg say to the boiling water?

 **Ryro:** it’ll be a minute before I get hard, I just got laid by a chick

 **Pete:** ASKDDHLSKA

 **Breadbin:** ryan im burning all ur scarves

 **Ryro:** no pls not my scarves

 

* * *

 

 

_9:48am_

**Pete:** so I typed in “when I” into google and one of the suggestions was “when I think about jesus”

 **Pete:** which is ironic

 **Pete:** because I actually wanted to ask why when I read satan thingys and satan related things mY STOMACH STARTS HURTING LIKE HELL

 **Ryro:** oh

 **Pete:** LIKE FCK OFF SATAN I WANNA LEARN NOT MAKE MY STOMACH CHURN

 **Ryro:** hey that rhymes

 **Jack:** its cuz ur pregnant with a satan baby

 **Patrick:** 666

 **Patrick:** 666

 **Patrick:** 666

 **Patrick:** is it working

 **Patrick:** 666

 **Patrick:** 666

 **Pete:** pls

 **Jack:** its like that whole virgin mary jesus thing

 **Pete:** wHY IS IT ACTUALLY WORKING

 **Jack:** but pete is pregnant with Satan jr.

 **Lexyyy:** PETE’s GONNA BE A SAD

 **Lexyyy:** dad*

 **Lexyyy:** a sad dad

 **Pete:** pls

 **Pete:** I like how the ‘s’ is lowercase

 **Jack:** can I be the god father

 **Jack:** or in this case

 **Jack:** the satan father

 **Jack:** or is that Patrick

 **Pete:** in this case

 **Pete:** ur the lowercase

 **Pete:** get it

 **Jack:** no

 **Lexyyy:** can I be the babysitter

 **Jack:** pete I don’t get it

 **Pete:** dont worry u will someday

 **Lexyyy:** Pete

 **Lexyyy:** can I b the babysitter

 **Pete:** ok

 **Lexyyy:** yay

 **Lexyyy:** ill teach mini satan all the cool tricks


	6. In which Zack is smart and sticking markers up your nose is not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks again Baylee for providing this excellent entertainment luv u  
> also thanks blair for being from michigan  
> thanks to me for being smart

_PIZZA SQUAD_

**Jen-nah:** I have a marker stuck in my nose hel0

 **Sarah:** it’s me

 **Jen-nah:** help*

 **Sarah:** I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet

 **Jen-nah:** THER E IS A MARKER STUCKBIN MY NOSE

 **Lexyyy:** why

 **Cass:** that’s cool

 **Cass:** take it out

 **Jen-nah:** nono the cap is stuck

 **Sarah:** how the fucK is it stuck

 **Cass:** take it out

 **Jen-nah:** the cap was stuck and I had to blow it out of my nose

 **Jen-nah:** it’s across the room now

 **Jen-nah:** I threw it

 **Sarah:** how did u get it stuck

 **Jen-nah:** it was small but wide and my nostril is apparently not meant for marker caps

 **Sarah:** well no shit

 **Sarah:** but I mean how did it get there in the first place

 **Jen-nah:** I put it in there

 **Jen-nah:** absentmindedly

 **Sarah:** good job

 

* * *

 

 

_PIZZA SQUAD_

**Patrick:** hey what should I do

 **Pete:** me

 **Pete:** I mean no

 **Pete:** paint something

 **Pete:** paint me

 **Pete:** like one of ur French girls

 **Patrick:** no

 **Patrick:** im hungry and bored

 **Cass:** read a book

 **Patrick:** no ew

 **Cass:** write a book

 **Patrick:** u know what

 **Patrick:** im gonna write friend fiction

 **Patrick:** what do I eat while writing friend fiction

 **Pete:** icecream

 **Cass:** sushi

 **Lexyyy:** sushi flavoured icecream

 **Patrick:** remind me to never ask advice from you guys ever again

 **Patrick:** im gonna make myself ramen

 

* * *

 

 

_PIZZA SQUAD_

**J** **en-nah:** my dog is fucking gone and so is sarah cuz she’s looking for him

 **Lexyyy:** he’s been

 **Lexyyy:** dognapped

 **Jen-nah:** alex I don’t think you understand

 **Jen-nah:** I am surrounded by miles of bush

 **Jen-nah:** and there is a busy highway like a mile away

 **Jen-nah:** I swear that dog is gonna get hit by a car

 **Lexyyy:** yikes

 **Zack:** what you need to do is put a buzzy thing on the collar that you can control with a remote and make it work in a mile radius

 **Zack:** and whenever the dog is about to have food/whenever you say it’s dinner time u buzz the collar

 **Zack:** so the dog will eventually associate the collar buzzing with getting food

 **Zack:** and when the dog runs away all u have to do is press the collar and it’ll want food and come right back

 **Lexyyy:** holy shit that’s genius

 **Jen-nah:** how the fuck do you know this

 **Zack:** psychology

**Author's Note:**

> dont forget to follow my tumblr it's sweatersarepunkrock ;)


End file.
